Finance Satirist Gifts

'Would you like to make 14% a year on that money? I'm an investment counselor.'

'Is it bonus time again?'

Spot the difference.

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Our flag means debt."

'Too late. The government beat you to it.'

"The office next door is vermin-infested...hedge fund managers."

Send a Photo to your Stockbroker

'This is a money order.'

'Can you believe this bank? . . . Yesterday they refuse me a loan, today they send me a leaflet for a loan.'

'Oh no! Not another customer looking for a mortgage...'

'To make-up for the unpopularity of corporate greed we've decided to double your salary.'

Private Healthcare

"I wonder who is buying private social media user data... By the way - unfortunately, I've got to reject your loan application..."

"Country's going to the wall, mate!"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Will work for ETFs

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Made in China

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

The transparent safe box of Panama

'The recession is over, again.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.