Financial Sector Satirists Gifts

'I don't understand...if charities incomes are going down why don't they just do what we do and pay themselves more?'

Spot the difference.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

The transparent safe box of Panama

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

Footing The Bill

Offshore tax havens.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

Bank of Cyprus-sia

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!