Sports Failure Humorist Gifts

The Archer and His Broken Arrow.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Pete Sampras

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Trojan Hurdler.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Leafs win the Cup!

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Hockey World

Volcano Sacrifice Competition