Sports Buffs Gifts

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Golfing Boss

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

A day at the transgenic races

Saving a Heart

"How should we divide the teams?"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"