Sports Aficionados Gifts

"After lunch, we're just going to sit around and watch you guys play lacrosse."

Baseball Player Support Group

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

'Oh wow, Gary Player, shake my hand,'

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

The pop-up book of fighters

A skier and a paraglider

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."