Sport Aficionados Gifts

Thank you for not ruining the integrity of the game.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

Gary turns 40.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A day at the transgenic races

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'