Sports Fan Aficionado Gifts

'Sometimes you just can't win.', 'Win, nothing -- I can't even beat the point spread!'

"Good game."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.