Sports Aficionados With A Twist Gifts

"Go deep."

I like the Jets...I guess

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Playing pig

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Improvised Dentistry.

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

A skier and a paraglider

David and Goliath.

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."