Spooky Humorists Gifts

"Sorry I backed into you. I didn't see you in my mirrors."

Healthy Witch Digest

"Here we are."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Macbeth: Take Two

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Cat Frankenstein

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Fancy a pint?

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

"Well, we got the grant."

The Zombie Awakes...

"It was a botched surgery."

...your sales are rather anemic

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."