Spooky Humor Gifts

'Get off and milk it!'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

Classic Emojis for sale.

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Your husband says BOO!"

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

Climbing to the moon

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

Vampire Family Photos...

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Headless Horserider uses a computer

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

"All I have to say is that someone better be bleeding."

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

Healthy Witch Digest

This place makes me jumpy...

"Beastly sorry about all these interruptions."

"When's the last time you flossed?"

Franken-steer.

"I'm on a diet. I'm taking a blood thinner."

He's very defensive about his personal space.

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Vampire Sit ups

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'