Spooky Humor Pillows

'Get off and milk it!'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

"He's right―there is something under the bed!"

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

"Your husband says BOO!"

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Yeah, vertical cemeteries are helping urban sustainability. But going by haunted cemetery standards ... kinda lame."

Climbing to the moon

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

Headless Horserider uses a computer

Vampire Family Photos...

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"Beastly sorry about all these interruptions."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'You need to start using a fabric softener.'

Franken-steer.

"When's the last time you flossed?"

This place makes me jumpy...

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Vampire Sit ups

Healthy Witch Digest

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

"I'm on a diet. I'm taking a blood thinner."