Spooky Humor Fan Pillows

'Take a piece of candy and a tax form. The treat is a gratuity and therefore reportable income.'

From the moment his blind date showed up, the Count knew it wasn't going to work out.

'I'm running a little behind. I got rear-ended.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

I told you to watch out for the sidewalk vents.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"I prefer to work from home."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"I keep forgetting dear. Is it vampires, or Jehovahs witnesses we're not supposed to invite over the threshold?"

'Okay buddy, we're taking this van to Transylvania.'

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Oh, you big silly. Did you forget to put the clock back?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"For drinks or dinner?"

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Your husband says BOO!"

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

"Awesome! We've got a live band."

City Zoo

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'