Spooky Humor Fan Gifts

From the moment his blind date showed up, the Count knew it wasn't going to work out.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"I prefer to work from home."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"I keep forgetting dear. Is it vampires, or Jehovahs witnesses we're not supposed to invite over the threshold?"

'Okay buddy, we're taking this van to Transylvania.'

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"Oh, you big silly. Did you forget to put the clock back?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"For drinks or dinner?"

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

"Your husband says BOO!"

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

City Zoo

"Awesome! We've got a live band."

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

Werehouses.

Franken-steer.

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

"I'm on a diet. I'm taking a blood thinner."

The Neighbours from Hell....

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"