Halloween Humorists Gifts

'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'

"First of all, I'd like to thank all of the little pumpkins who made this night possible."

'We're all out of candy. How 'bout a nice piece of meatloaf?'

The Jackal Lantern

"We're just different. I think better outside the box."

"Nice top and tails."

Lon Chaney meets Dick Cheney.

'No, no - he isn't chasing me - we're jogging!'

Trick or treat surprise.

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

"So that's your resting face."

Witch crashes into building on her broom and safety airbag deploys.

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

"Trick or Treat - sorry, cash only."

Oh, cool, a hideaway hood! I had one of those when I was little!

"Your Fitbit isn't working?"

"I'd like you to welcome Grinda to our group. Grinda has issues with potion abuse, poison apples, and a history of negative relationships with men and toads."

"Fraud or redistribution!"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Macbeth: Take Two

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Ghost puddle

Job Safety - Pumpkin.