Spoiled Hound Fan Gifts

"How is the dog training coming, dear? Oh, never mind!"

Love a Mutt

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

"A poodle? It's sort of a dog with an afro."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Mash-Test Dummies.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Chasebook for Dogs

"Would you please tell your son that pugs don't make good sled dogs."

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Bingo's Time Out - Part Four

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

If Dogs Made Perfume

'I'm patriotic, but nobody beats Fido at wagging the flag!'

'Meet my significant other.'

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

"You spoil that dog...."

"Stop annoying my pooch!"

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

"I'm in hiding: I slobbered all over his "good pants" this morning at breakfast. Now, he's back upstairs changing, and running late for his big meeting..."

'He has fleas... sheds, and his breath stinks.'

"Well yes, she spoils me, but hey, I make her happy in return: It's a win-win situation..."

"She's very fussy about her food!"

'Now, go and watch it with him. And remember to get overexcited. He'll think you're clever.'

Sign at pet shop reads, 'Warning! Do not buy if seal is broken.'

'It's generic, guys, and very nutritious.'