Puppy Pun Fan Gifts

Chasebook for Dogs

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Boy weighs puppy: 'Ten... that's 70 in people-pounds, Sparky.'

"Bruno, sit."

Dog Bookends

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

"Do you think Papi will let us have a puppy?"

'Boy am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Would you please tell your son that pugs don't make good sled dogs."

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

'Sure, we could fetch things for them, but why raise their expectations.'

"Mr. Jingles thinks they sell it on eBay."

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

'They're for a friend.'

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

"Your work's fine, it's your break time I want to talk to you about."

'It would never work, Shep - I'm housebroken, you're not.'

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

Looking for a cool cat.

Well, you've heard of Spotify haven't you?

A doctor examines an unusual parasitic case.

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'