Spiritual Sleeper Gifts

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

Night-time halo

'At lone at last.'

Bed Seasons

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Programmer Dreams

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

Waking the Dead.

“I get that the sounds help you sleep, but I don’t like the way he stares.”

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

REALLY boring sermons

The Home Birth of Venus

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

'You're snoring in cadence.'

"I don't know if a nap is part of God's plan for me."

"No! I don't think these are adjustable beds. Why?"

"You awake?"

Sleep-Eez Bedding

A pink cloud hovers above a sleeping man

The Princess and the Pea

Monk sleeping with wig on wigstand.

STRIP Hambone: Sleeping employee has sheep on his monitor

"So, it's agreed then - we'll sleep on it and decide in the morning."

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

'I wish they would invent one of those dog bark translators to interpret my husband's snoring.'

'Well, that's it - you can wake up now, it's time for bed!'

Everyone's Asleep.

"I set your ringtone to the sound of snoring. I want you to experience what I go through each night."

Turning off the idea light.

Angel plumps up cloud.

'Please RSVP.'

'I slept like a baby. I dreamt I took melatonin.'