Spiritual Coach Gifts

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Guru.

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Buddhist photo albums,

"All the celebrities come here."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Make me one with everything!"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

All we have in life is this moment...

How Optimism Works