Spiritual Coach Pillows

'I'll be danged- that's exactly what mom told me.'

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Guru.

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Make me one with everything!"

Buddhist photo albums,

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).