Spiritual Consultant Pillows

''Medicine man'? Well, that's a pretty old fashioned term. Nowadays, I express myself an a 'Spiritual Consultant''.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Buddhist photo albums,

"All the celebrities come here."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

"We call out to you, please reveal yourself, oh Spirit of Innovation."