Spiky Humor Fan Gifts

"My Favorite! How did you know?!"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'Check out the old dude.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."