Spiky Humor Fan Pillows

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Introducing...Anagraman.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'More government surveillance!'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

The Pencil and Sharpener