Speedy Dater Pillows

Have you ever tried speed dating? No. Can we try it now?

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

We met online.

'That must be my computer date.'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

Speed Dating Disasters

'Let's do lunch.'

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'We met online.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."