Speed Dating Aficionado Pillows

Speed Dating: 'I don't think it matters how streamlined you are.'

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Call me?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Drive in movies.

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Banana Smoothie

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

Tasty.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

Speed Dating Disasters

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

"The only way I could be sure the sitter would watch the baby, was to put it in front of the refrigerator!"

"Last time I ordered Rock and you ordered Paper, so this time..."

Love

"Looks like Rick's scored."