Speed Dating Aficionado Gifts

Speed Dating: 'I don't think it matters how streamlined you are.'

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Call me?"

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Drive in movies.

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Banana Smoothie

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

Tasty.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

Speed Dating Disasters

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

"Isn't that false advertising?"

'This would be so romantic if we weren't married to each other.'

Love

"The only way I could be sure the sitter would watch the baby, was to put it in front of the refrigerator!"

Do you play footsie on the first date? Yes, but I only use the first toe.