Speed Dating Gifts

'We met speed dating, had a whirlwind romance...'

Will You Waste My Time?

Paleontology Dept. 7.5 million years! He does it with one quick look. Ernie's an expert at speed dating!

Have you ever tried speed dating? No. Can we try it now?

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Romance

So Close..

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Cow in love'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."