Speed Dater Gifts

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Christian Speed Dating

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Online Dating

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

Speed Dating Disasters

'Let's do lunch.'

'That must be my computer date.'

We met online.

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."