Speed Dating Enthusiasts Pillows

'I got a date by table 6, had an affair by table 13 and was divorced by table 23.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Romance

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"You lack spontaniety."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

Speed Dating Disasters

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Romantic Coffee Dates

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."