Speed Dating Enthusiast Pillows

Speed Dating

Dating club outside divorce court.

'Looks are not everything.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

speed dating - "Hello, goodbye."

"I think I'll try speed dating."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Romance

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

"Your profile said you were a dog."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

Romantic Coffee Dates

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

Speed Dating Disasters

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Alligator Bars

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."