Speed Dating Enthusiasts Prints

'I got a date by table 6, had an affair by table 13 and was divorced by table 23.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Romance

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

"Your profile said you were a dog."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

Romantic Coffee Dates

Speed Dating Disasters

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"