Speed Daters Pillows

Church Drive-Thru.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

Online Dating for Dummies

We met online.

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'That must be my computer date.'

Speed Dating Disasters

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'We met online.'

Friday night was always sext night.