Spectator Slugger Gifts

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Vendor selling testosterone.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

Slug roulette

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

The Giamatti era

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Football supporters.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Football Stadium

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

Fresh hamsters on a stick.