Spectator Sports Gifts

'Attendance at our track meets is way up.'

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

"Dad, tell me the 'Off Side Rule', everybody's waiting..."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'I can't wait to see the highlights on TV!'

'Hey! He's wearing shoes!!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

You must be as tall as this sign to jump down into the field and ruin the game.

'It never fails. Every time we go to a game, we get stuck sitting in front of an idiot with some kind of noisemaker.'

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'I still say making correct decisions would be a better way of preventing crowd abuse, Arthur.'

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Remind me - what's my motivation'

Church for sports worshipers.

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

Spectator distracted by a tennis players knickers.

Players from both teams charge into the seats and grab the belligerent fan.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

The Royal Box

'I don't think much of this topless darts Bob!'

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

'Maybe installing luxury boxes was a bit optimistic."

Football Stadium

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

"So that's where you were last night."

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

Boxing crowd aim to catapault opponents at each other.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

You're constantly finding new ways to be lazy, aren't you?