Sports Viewer Gifts

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"I watch sports on television. Does that count?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Church for sports worshipers.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

350 Feet.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Putting Practice.

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"So that's where you were last night."