Tv Sports Viewer Gifts

The Yankees smashed,clobbered, crushed, subjugated, whacked, humbled, shellacked, smeared Seattle, or was it the other way around?'

Football Fans

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Church for sports worshipers.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Putting Practice.

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"So that's where you were last night."