Television Sports Gifts

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

350 Feet.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Watching the football.

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.