Spectating Sports Gifts

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

Mobile bleachers

Golf Tourney. Spectators in the front row get hit more often. It's the fore-ground.

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

350 Feet.

Warning: This team might at any moment disintegrate into name-calling, back-biting and dissension - fan discretion is advised.

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I AM at my usual position."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.