Sports Spectatorship Gifts

"The other team won by 12 lucky goals!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Church for sports worshipers.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I AM at my usual position."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"So that's where you were last night."

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."