Sports Spectatorship Gifts

"The other team won by 12 lucky goals!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Church for sports worshipers.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

350 Feet.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"So that's where you were last night."