Sports Spectators Gifts

'This should be interesting.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"I AM at my usual position."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

350 Feet.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

A skier and a paraglider

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

David and Goliath.

Caber