Sporting Spectator Gifts

'Now you know why they call it a spectator sport.'

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Football supporters.

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Football fan

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Football Stadium