Sports Spectator Gifts

My first rodeo

"It'll be something to watch during the next lockdown."

Wimbledon

Bejing Olympics 2008

"How come you have this sudden interest in sport?"

"I AM at my usual position."

Winter Olympics

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"What about something that requires a little more exercise?"

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"Sure you've got him worried - he's thinking he may be done for GBH!"

Octopus in the bleachers.

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

TV Darts.

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."