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'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

Mobile bleachers

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Warning: This team might at any moment disintegrate into name-calling, back-biting and dissension - fan discretion is advised.

'That's all the runners except one. ... We'd better go check on him.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I AM at my usual position."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Watching the football.

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.