Sports Viewing Gifts

'Of course he'll pick you up at the airport, mother. He's got a season ticket so he can go to football any time.'

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

"...and this TV was designed specially for watching basketball!"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'The invention of the remote control was a real game changer.'

'The team in white are bound to win - look at the size of the other team!'

Man watching the golf silences his wife during the putting.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'You know what would improve NASCAR? Randomly placed landmines.'

TV Eyes.

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Putting Practice.

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."