Sport Watching Gifts

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I AM at my usual position."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Watching the football.

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'