Sports Sitcom Spectator Gifts

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Time Machine Collision

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"So that's where you were last night."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Football supporters.

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Glenn Hoddle

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.