Sitcom Spectator Gifts

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Time Machine Collision

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Situation Tragedy.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

Haywatch

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Larry David

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

Nativity - The sitcom

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"Yet it's magically okay when Mrs. Maisel & Susie talk like that."