Sitcom Spectator Pillows

Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Time Machine Collision

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Situation Tragedy.

Beam me up. Scotty!

John Cleese.

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Haywatch

Menopause and the City

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Larry David

John Laurie

Nativity - The sitcom

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can build a computer out of a coconut, then you can build a cell tower. Take some initiative!"

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"Yet it's magically okay when Mrs. Maisel & Susie talk like that."