Spectator Sport Fan Gifts

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Church for sports worshipers.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Raheem Sterling

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Spring Training

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Putting Practice.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.