Spaghetti Sleuth T-Shirts

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Experts through the ages.

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

Spaghetto

Spaghetti Mummy

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

I don't trust that guy.

Guess Where Your Dinner Is?

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

'Of course, how else do you think we get off the ground? '

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'