Sauce Sleuth T-Shirts

'It's no use... he won't reveal his sauces!'

"If I knew the ingredients in Mama's pasta sauce I'd tell you."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Do you have to put tomato sauce on everything?"

Two men converse secretively

"Cheer up! There's a magic ingredient that makes it easy to eat vegetables...CHEESE SAUCE!"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

Hiding the salt mill

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

'If you think about it, would you give him a coffee with 17 spoonfuls of sugar in it?'